Matthew Campoverde ‘24
Throughout relationships, it is easy to confuse lust with love. It is even very common to do lustful acts without even realizing it. Moreover, most relationships provide a mix of both aspects through the actions taken, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing that will destroy a relationship. Nevertheless, it depends on the scale of the desires of lust and the power they hold over a relationship that truly determines its fate. Therefore, it’s important to understand what these desires of love and lust mean and the differences they hold, which set them apart on a moral scale as well.
The Problems With Lust
Lust is defined as a strong sexual desire primarily revolving around physical appearance. Although it’s okay to hold affection towards others, lust enhances this to an unhealthy degree in most cases. Due to lust, partners objectify others at times for mere tools of their own pleasure first and foremost. In a relationship of lust, you can still enjoy your time with another person, but it won’t go very deep, which is where the main problem of lust lies.
In a relationship dominated by lust, when it comes time to further the relationship and build a deeper understanding with your partner, you won’t be able to. By solely being enamored by what’s on the outside, you lose sight of what’s on the inside. Lust causes you to really only care for your own needs rather than your partner’s, which is where relationships falter at times. The tragedy that accompanies lust is that people realize the consequences that come with letting it fester for too long, but they are unable to do anything. Therefore, it’s important to not let your lust overcome you within your daily life to have a healthy, stable relationship.
The Nature of Love
Love is an attraction towards someone else on a far deeper and intimate level. When you love someone, you usually have taken the time to form a close bond with them over an extended period of time rather than just the initial feeling of attraction that comes from lust. It is not centered around the physical aspects of your partner, but what you enjoy about their true character. Love involves treasuring even the simplest of moments and truly enjoying the time you spend with your partner on a personal level.
However, love is not merely an emotion like lust, but it also leads to action as well. When you really love another person, you decide to take care of their needs and make them happy as well. Rather than solely focusing on yourself, you try to help your partner as well. This could involve sacrificing part of your time for them when you don’t feel like it or various other things you do, which a good partner would reciprocate as well. Love also helps make you and your partner better people by taking actions to help and better each other. In conclusion, the true nature of love is one of self sacrifice and close connections, while lust primarily involves itself with spur of the moment desires.
The Salesian Spectator 